Employee Performance Criteria

posted Jan 2, 2014, 12:24 PM by Eric Patrick
Just so we can start the New Year off on the right foot:

Performance Details

Performance Factors

Far Excedes Job Requirements

Excedes Job Requirements

Meets Job Requirements

Needs Some Improvement

Does Not Meet Minium Requirements


Leaps tall buildings with a single bound

Must take a running start to leap tall buildings

Can only leap over a short building

Crashes into buildings when attempting to jump over them

Cannot recognise buildings, much less jump


Faster than a speeding bullet

As fast as a speeding bullet

Bot quite as fast as a speeding bullet

Would you belive a slow bullet?

Wounds self with bullent when attempting to shoot gun.


Stronger than a locomotive

Stronger than a bull elephant

Stronger than a bull

Shoots the bull

Smells like a bull





Walks on water consistently

Walks on water in emergencies

Washes with water

Drinks water

Passes water in emergencies




Talks with god

Talks with the angels

Talks to himself

Argues with himself

Loses these arguments.